Inspiration upon Grief

• 
• Ginny (goc7424)
• (11 months ago)

A friend of mine called me a few weeks ago to tell me that the wife he was separated from, but very friendly with, was in hospice for weeks now. He told me that his “daughter’s and he were okay because her death would not be not coming as a surprise.”

I had told him that “even though someone might be very sick, one can never prepare themselves for their death.” He seemed to doubt me and felt confident his daughter’s, who were very, very close to their mother, would handle her death just fine since they knew she was dying.

He called me yesterday. His voice was very stressed and extremely sad. Telling me he was fine and his daughter’s and grandchildren were all okay, I could hear him choking back his tears. They were not prepared. No one ever is.

It brought back to me the night of my father’s death six months ago. I knew he had gone drastically downhill but thought he still had time.

I left him one evening and told him, “I will see you tomorrow.” I did not know that the tomorrow would be 4:00am that morning when the nursing home called telling me they were bringing my Dad to the hospital and it did not look good.

When I got to the hospital, my Dad had already passed into the next world.

I put my face next to his, and had one arm around him and held his other hand. I knew his physical being was gone but believed his spirit was still there with me. I told him I loved him and asked him to pass his strength and love of life into me.

He is with my Mom now, whom he loved more than life itself. I have been told he died peacefully and that his last words were, “Lord have Mercy.”

I do not believe there is any way to prepare oneself for the death of a loved one. The only thing you can do is the best you can for them while they are alive, and show them how much you love them. If you do that you will have no regrets. You will miss them dearly, have your memories but all the time knowing you did all you possibly could for them.

And then you give yourself time to cry and heal.

• 
• Nancy Shields (nancyatmakegirlfriends)
• (1 year ago)

Lisa,
I so love you and your words of encouragement for those who visit this site and are also greiving the loss of a loved one in some form or another.....
Thank you and love you,
Nancy